When is the right time to leave your parents’ house?

We all come from different background’s and were raised differently.  Depending on your family and how you were raised. The question of when you should leave your parents house will bring about a different answer. Mainly because from what I have seen, there are two types families. Those who are so close that it is difficult for them to allow one member to move to another province.

But then there are those families who don’t care. Not because they don’t care about each other. But because they don’t need to be close in proximity to feel close to one another.  These families usually only meet when there are family gatherings or funerals. But can still have the same amount of love and respect as the first. To me it doesn’t matter which type of family you are coming from. But what are you doing about it to avoid conflict and unnecessary resentment?

I grew up in a township and it pains my heart to see how parents degrade their own children because their dreams are taking longer than they should to be fulfilled. Siblings turn against each other because mom believes that the one who became financially independent at a very young age is better than the one whose still at Varsity or still trying to build him/herself up. Others are being reminded how old they are at a certain point and time. You find that these individuals are not just sitting around doing nothing. They are really trying so hard but life isn’t giving them the chance.

When I was still a little girl my dream was to stay at my parents’ house until I get married. After I finished high school I decided to pursue a degree in business and management. Unfortunately, everything changed when my dream took longer than it should before it became a reality. Some of my friends got learnerships immediately after high school and they got permanent posts at the end of it. Some got married and others became slay queens in the process and I was still just a university student .

As time passed by from one year to another I started to feel as if I am becoming a burden to those I considered my pillars. Remember I am still at home, studying, no part-time job or anything so I had to ask for everything. On the other, I am not getting any younger, so some of the things are becoming uncomfortable to ask, furthermore things that are being said about me compared to my friends made me feel useless and I ended up doubting my decision of furthering my education.

I became bitter and ended up believing that my friends are better than me because they can do it all by themselves. I started to find ways to survive without being too much dependent especially financially. However, what I was making was not even enough to cover my transport fare which made me feel like I was moving around in a circle. 

Life is a journey and it is said that ‘the journey of thousand miles begins with one step’. I had to remind myself that choosing education over anything else is part of the journey that will benefit me in the long run. I considered moving out as an option but the question was who was going to cover up my expenses out there? Patience and endurance was my only option. I had to endure all the negativity and pains of being degraded by those close to me to survive. I promised myself that there is no testimony without a test; this is my time to stay focused until things work out so that one day I may also have a good story to tell.

For me staying home ended up hurting my relationship with loved ones. But for someone else it may mean the opposite. What ever your choice, all that matters is that you are financially able to take care of yourself by yourself before moving out. Because whilst the idea of moving into your own place can sound nice. It also costs a lot. And making sure you are stable enough before making a decision is important. Also if possible talk to your parents and family members often about where you are going. What you want to do and how long you anticipate it taking. This may help remind them that you do have a path and plan.

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