As people, we all want love and acceptance. But sometimes getting or receiving that love can come at a cost. Especially when we go into relationships without healing from past trauma’s, scars and pains. Which can lead to us unintentionally hurting others. This often happens when we carry the pain of past relationships into new ones. Which can lead to us punishing our current partners for past partners mistakes due to insecurities or fear.
And wether we like to admit it or not, going into a new relationship before dealing with pain from the last can lead to us carrying that pain with us. And in turn causing pain. Because when you’re not healed, every relationship you go into will have the same results. Because you haven’t changed your mindset and dealt with any issues you had. Which doesn’t mean changing yourself, but simply being flexible and adjusting to different experiences.
There’s no experience that’s there to break you. Experiences are there to give you lessons, to shape you into a better person, to push your limits. And hopefully lead you to greater heights. Which is why we need to learn to adjust a little bit. Because not everyone is the same. And you shouldn’t punish your current partner for something your previous partner did.
Which is why the best thing to do when you feel like you are suffering for other’s mistakes is to sit down with your partner and talk. Don’t just express it roughly. Have a discussion about how you feel and ask questions so that you’re also able to understand exactly where the problem is coming from. Then find a way forward and try keep in mind what your partner is going through. And how you can work as a team to overcome past traumas and issues. – Lerato