As a young woman who grew up without a father figure in my life. The idea of the male role model has always been an idea in my mind. Especially because so many other young girls had the same experience growing up with just a mother or grandmother to take care of them.
Personally, not having a father was not a big deal. Mainly because I grew up having so much support that I didn’t notice that I didn’t have a male figure in my life. However, this is not the case for everyone. For some people, not having a father can affect them in big and small ways.
So much so that they end up feeling bad about themselves and end up feeling rejected. This can lead to thinking that they are not wanted due to their father disappearing from their life. They can even end up blaming themselves for everything male related that goes wrong.
And whilst I feel like a lack of male presence has not affected me. I still know how difficult it can be growing up without a father. Because we have been taught that men should provide for their families. Protect them from danger, care and show them love.
However, in South Africa most of the time the single mothers have to play both roles. And be both provider and nurturer. However, no matter how much single mothers put in, it can still not feel like enough. And it can change a child’s life forever.
As one of the thousands of young girls without a father in my life, I would advise young women to not blame themselves for their fathers absence. He made a decision that most likely has nothing to do with you as a person, but rather with him. Also try keep in mind that your mother is doing her best. And that she wants you to have a fulfilled life just like everyone else. After all a home is what you make it.